Article: The Luck Factor

The loser’s guide to getting lucky
By Professor Richard Wiseman
University of Hertfordshire
From BBC Online, 22 December 2003: http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/3335275.stm#tips

“Why do some people get all the luck while others never get the breaks they deserve? A psychologist says he has discovered the answer.

Ten years ago, I set out to examine luck.

I wanted to know why some people are always in the right place at the right time, while others consistently experience ill fortune.

I placed advertisements in national newspapers asking for people who felt consistently lucky or unlucky to contact me.

Hundreds of extraordinary men and women volunteered for my research and, over the years, I have interviewed them, monitored their lives and had them take part in experiments.

The results reveal that although these people have almost no insight into the causes of their luck, their thoughts and behaviour are responsible for much of their good and bad fortune.

Take the case of seemingly chance opportunities. Lucky people consistently encounter such opportunities, whereas unlucky people do not.

I carried out a simple experiment to discover whether this was due to differences in their ability to spot such opportunities.

I gave both lucky and unlucky people a newspaper, and asked them to look through it and tell me how many photographs were inside.

I had secretly placed a large message halfway through the newspaper saying: “Tell the experimenter you have seen this and win £250.”

This message took up half of the page and was written in type that was more than two inches high.

Anxiety

It was staring everyone straight in the face, but the unlucky people tended to miss it and the lucky people tended to spot it.

Unlucky people are generally more tense than lucky people, and this anxiety disrupts their ability to notice the unexpected.

As a result, they miss opportunities because they are too focused on looking for something else.

They go to parties intent on finding their perfect partner and so miss opportunities to make good friends.

They look through newspapers determined to find certain types of job advertisements and miss other types of jobs.

Self-fulfilling prophecies

Lucky people are more relaxed and open, and therefore see what is there rather than just what they are looking for.

My research eventually revealed that lucky people generate good fortune via four principles.

They are skilled at creating and noticing chance opportunities, make lucky decisions by listening to their intuition, create self-fulfilling prophesies via positive expectations, and adopt a resilient attitude that transforms bad luck into good.

Towards the end of the work, I wondered whether these principles could be used to create good luck.

I asked a group of volunteers to spend a month carrying out exercises designed to help them think and behave like a lucky person.

Dramatic results

These exercises helped them spot chance opportunities, listen to their intuition, expect to be lucky, and be more resilient to bad luck.

One month later, the volunteers returned and described what had happened. The results were dramatic: 80% of people were now happier, more satisfied with their lives and, perhaps most important of all, luckier.

The lucky people had become even luckier and the unlucky had become lucky.

Finally, I had found the elusive “luck factor” .

Here are Professor Wiseman’s four top tips for becoming lucky:

– Listen to your gut instincts – they are normally right

– Be open to new experiences and breaking your normal routine

– Spend a few moments each day remembering things that went well

– Visualise yourself being lucky before an important meeting or telephone call. Luck is very often a self-fulfilling prophecy. ”

 

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Article: Introducing Mind-Body Bridging

 

This text is from Mind-Body Bridging Institute at http://mindbodybridging.com/more-about-mind-body-bridging/ where you can read the full article:

About Mind-Body Bridging

“Mind-Body Bridging (MBB) is based on the premise that the mind-body state hindering optimal functioning results from overactivity of a system called the Identity System (I-System). All your thoughts, emotions, attitudes, beliefs, and behaviours that limit optimal functioning are the result of an overactive I-System.

According to Dr. Stanley H. Block, developer of MBB, the human I-System evolved in order create a sense of human individuality through divisions of family, clan, religion, culture, race, nation and species. Without it, humans would lack self-interest, direction and drive. However, an overactive I-System exaggerates our sense of separateness by restricting awareness, creating anxiety and disrupting the harmony and balance of our mind-body connection. In modern society, this unfortunate condition is nearly universal.

I-System overactivity leads to a busy head and tense body, and the myriad of symptoms, conditions and diseases that accompany this high-stress and emotionally limited way of being. In short, the I- System is a built-in commotion machine, creating a life of separation and ongoing tension.

You can learn and experience how to put your I-System to rest during the activities of daily living, and achieve optimal functioning, with MBB tools. Through this management of your I-System, you can gain access to your full potential.”

 

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INFJ at the Holidays?

Here is Linda´s great take on INFJ personality type in the Myers Briggs system and of HSPs (Highly Sensitive People) in general. Additionally to Linda´s I share a couple of links I have taken my own tests from. I am an ENFP though since for several years I´ve been in a much more introverted phase than I used to (always having needed time alone, too). I know in theory and practice that the basic personality type doesn´t disappear though we often go through other kinds of personality phases in life as well. (I have used another personality type/structure model as my first tool, which I know much deeper than Myers Briggs´).

https://www.16personalities.com/ (This link gives a good quick look at the types https://www.16personalities.com/personality-types )

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

litebeing chronicles

HAPPY SAG DAY! Today the sun entered Sagittarius and all is right in your world, right?

This was a pre-Christmas post, but I suspect it will be useful right about now. After I ran my Grief and Loss group today on the topic of coping with family and loss during the holidays and reflected on my current family drama, I realized that sometimes we need to recalibrate our boundaries and love ourselves more, not less.

Enjoy this re-tread and feel free to comment.

I was ready to dive into an astrology article including Taylor Swift, but she will have to shake it off just a little bit longer. I am sensing a need to write about how to navigate the holiday season with fun and a lot less drama. I have wanted to write about INFJs and HSPs ( Highly Sensitive People) for a while, and this seems to be the…

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Article: Fifteen Common Cognitive Distortions by John M. Grohol, Psy.D.

“What’s a cognitive distortion and why do so many people have them? Cognitive distortions are simply ways that our mind convinces us of something that isn’t really true. These inaccurate thoughts are usually used to reinforce negative thinking or emotions — telling ourselves things that sound rational and accurate, but really only serve to keep us feeling bad about ourselves.” Here is the article: http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-cognitive-distortions/0002153

 

Image: Crystal Mind /Nevit Dilmen, Wikimedia Commons

I’m OK and You Are OK: Effective and Ineffective Modes of Communication

Transactional Analysis is still one of the main corner stones of and updated by many modern communication and personality models (I am a certified coach of one of those, but not eager to write professional texts in English myself).

You can read the whole article here: Transactional Analysis /www.businessballs.com

Effective and ineffective modes of communication

Definition of ‘Effective’

By effective, we mean that:

  • a communication is likely to achieve the intended response or result. Information is received, necessary action(s) follow and good relationships are maintained or developed
  • communication will (if necessary and desired) be able to continue – either now or later
  • each party to the communication, whether they agree with each other (or not) or like each other (or not) maintains an I’m OK, You’re OK position.

Definition of ‘Ineffective’

By ineffective, we mean that any/all of the following apply:

  • the intended communication is not understood the person receiving the communication is themselves invited into a “not OK” position or invited to make someone else “not OK”
  • communication may be broken in some way and so does not continue, or it escalates to even more discomfort or misunderstanding for those involved. In extreme cases the rift may be permanent
  • what needs to be done is less likely to be done – or may be done incorrectly.

 Effective modesTA-modes-model-mountain

To help you understand the TA OK Modes Model and to avoid having to keep scrolling back up the page, the diagram is repeated alongside the explanation below. It’s the same diagram.

Note that the ineffective Modes are quite logical and easy to understand when seen as negative or unhelpful extremes of the correlating effective Modes. For example, being overly Supportive quite naturally equates to Interfering; Being overly Playful quite naturally equates to Recklessness.

Mindful Process – Not a Mode, this is a requirement or condition enabling effective Modes to be accessed/used. When we are operating mindfully, we communicate ‘OK to OK’ messages. We operate appropriately in the here-and-now and have access to the positive aspects of the care and structure we have received in the past and the experiences we had in childhood (Deelia: referring to the the parent, adult and child themes also explained in the article). As this Mindful process is here-and-now, we are able to choose which of the effective Modes of behaviour to draw from, dependent on the situation. When we are stable in this Mindful process we respond appropriately rather than ‘flipping’ or switching (generally unconsciously) into an Ineffective Mode.

Each of the effective Modes, dependent on the Mindful Process, communicate “I’m OK and You’re OK”.

Structuring Mode – This is the boundary setting Mode, offering constructive criticism. In this Mode we are caring whilst firm.

Supporting Mode – When in this Mode we are affirming and considerate.

Co-creating Mode – From this Mode we develop ways to help us live and work with others.

Playful Mode – This is the creative, fun loving, curious and energetic Mode. We can confront people playfully as a way of dealing with a difficult situation. This can diffuse a potential problem and get the message across.

When working with others we can choose where we come from (communicate from).

Effective communication happens when we are in a Mindful Process.

If someone else invites us, because of how he/she communicates to us, to go into an ineffective (red) Mode, importantly, we don’t have to go there, we can instead ‘cross the transaction’ and come from (respond from) one of the green Modes.

Ineffective modes

The ineffective (red) Modes all emanate from outdated experiences, which are not relevant or appropriate in the present.

Criticizing Mode – communicates a “You’re not OK” message. When in this Mode you will believe that others cannot do things as well as you can, or perhaps only certain chosen people can. If you lead from this position you are unlikely to develop a loyal supportive team or culture.

Inconsistent Mode – As a leader we might be inconsistent in our style – changing our behaviour in unpredictable and apparently random ways. This is not helpful for followers (or leaders).

Interfering Mode – communicates a “You’re not OK” message. When in this Mode the person will often do things for others which they are capable of doing for themselves. People who find it difficult to delegate might be in this Mode.

Over-adapted Mode – This expresses an “I’m not OK” or “I’m not OK and You’re Not OK” message. When in this Mode we over-adapt to others and tend to experience such emotions as depression or unrealistic fear and anxiety. When in this Mode we are unlikely to make good team members and will be highly stressed if we have to manage others.

Oppositional Mode – Even when opposing others, we are not actually free to think for ourselves as we are reacting to them in the belief that we need to ‘resist’ them. It is important to be clear that this is not simply about being in disagreement, but a style of going against whatever others put forward.

Reckless Mode – In this Mode we run wild with no boundaries. Here we express a “You’re not OK” message. At work we tend not to take responsibility for our actions and are unlikely to progress as we need a great deal of management in order to focus our energy and keep boundaries.

© Chris Davidson, Anita Mountain (Mountain Associates) original content and diagrams other than where stated, Alan Chapman edit and contextual material, 2000-13. Transactional Analysis theory was developed by Dr Eric Berne in the 1950s. The Blame Model was developed by Jim Davis TSTA. The OK Corral model was developed by Franklin Ernst. The 2011 Transactional Analysis OK Modes Model and diagram is © Mountain Associates, 2010-13. Please retain this notice on all copies.

Other links:

The Official ITAA Website

Transactional-Analysis, The Personality Tests of T.A. (link corrected)

Wikipedia

Nine Essential Qualities of Mindfulness by Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D.

ID-10063421“Most people these days are stressed out by the fast pace of life, economy, and worries about the future. In a recent survey, conducted in the UK, a whopping 86 percent agreed that “people would be much happier and healthier if they knew how to slow down and live in the moment” (Mental Health Foundation, 2010).  It is no wonder that mindfulness has rapidly gained attention in the popular press and is one of the few complementary medicine techniques to be offered in hospitals and clinics worldwide. But what exactly is mindfulness?” Read about the qualities of mindfulness here: http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mindful-self-express/201202/nine-essential-qualities-mindfulness

 

Image: Master isolated images /freedigitalphotos.net

Symptoms of Codependency

colorful_clouds_2-wallpaper-1280x720 Codependency themes give one angle of human behavior in becoming more genuinely inner-driven rather than being outer-driven. There is a difference between being with other people than living more or less through/via them, and there are different levels of codependency from the minor symptoms to the deepest ones. The first step in being able to be more inner-driven (and “soul driven”) in general as well, is that we bring these often unconscious behaviors and habits to the conscious level. The more aware we are of them and their illusionary nature, the less power they have to direct our lives. We can re-adjust our energies in the now, whenever we might notice old habits beginning to take place and/or our energy level beginning to drop.

The codependency themes are all very understandable and common behaviors, mental and emotional tendencies. Acceptance again can be of great help on the path of liberation. Everything we do for our own wellbeing becomes available to others (who are receptive and having similar issues) as well, not only via the physical plane, but also via the telepathic planes or morphic fields, how we then like to call them.

Here is an article describing different codependency themes:

Symptoms of Codependency By Darlene Lancer, JD, MFT

Related:

Tuning in to Self Confidence: Quotes

Articles from the basic energy healing perspectives:

Open Your Third Chakra and Have More Energy by Gini Grey

The Chakras and their Purpose by GIniGrey

 

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