Self Talk: How Do You Talk to Yourself? By Oliver J R Cooper

ID-100212478While we talk to other people in the external world, we are also talking to ourselves in what could be described as the internal world. And this is a dialogue that takes place from the moment one wakes up and until they go to sleep at night.But in many ways it doesn’t stop there, as one can carry this on when they are asleep. Here, one can have dreams and these can play out the same scenarios and make one feel as they did during the day. So this process can’t be stopped, but fortunately it can be changed.

And although self talk and positive thinking can appear to be the same thing, they are two different things. Positive thinking is something one generally does consciously, where as self talk is something that goes on automatically and without one having to think about it.

This could be something one notices during most moments in their life, or something they only become aware of during certain situations. In is during these situations that one knows exactly what self talk is and if it’s nurturing and kind it won’t be a problem. But if this talk is critical or abusive, it will cause all kinds of problems.Invisible

One of the reasons why it is hard to even notice this voice is because it could have been in full force for so long. And so it is not seen as an intruder and as something that doesn’t belong there, it is taken as normal.

It is the only thing one knows and therefore one has nothing to compare it with, in order to see how unhealthy this voice is. Without something to compare it with, one has no way of realising that it is not normal or healthy, it is abnormal and unhealthy.

Different Experiences

Now, for someone people, their self talk could be fine and only bring them down on the odd occasion. And there will be others who are fine in some contexts and then ‘beat themselves up’ in others. One could also be in a position where their self talk is disempowering no matter where they are or what they are doing.

So there are many different types of self talk and these can be ones that uplift someone and make them feel relaxed, calm and at peace with themselves on one side of the spectrum. And on the other side, they could lead to one feeling worthless, useless and failure for instance.

Triggers

While the voices in one’s head can create one set of problems, what adds to this are the feelings that appear as a result. One can then talk themselves into feeling a certain way. And when this process goes on out of one’s awareness, they could just end up feeling down and subdued without having any idea why.

It could something that happens so fast that one thinks it is due to an external reason. And while there could well be an external influence, it is often through how one talks to themselves as a result of what happened that made them feel as they do.

Consequences

The impact of self talk is far and wide and something that could stop someone from doing many things. One could talk themselves out of going after their dream job or career. And when it comes to talking to some they are attracted to, they could end up talking themselves out of it and not once, but on every occasion.

One could have the desire to buy something or to treat themselves and end up going without what they both need and deserve. To get things wrong form time to time and to make mistakes is part of being human, but this can cause someone to see themselves as a failure.

Outer Reflection

It has been said that we won’t let others treat us any worse than we treat ourselves. While one can’t know how someone talks to themselves, they can see what they put up with and what they don’t.

So how they let others treat them and how they treat others, is one way of seeing how someone talks to themselves. And how one is spoken to by others can gradually be internalised and become a part of them. If this is positive and empowering it won’t be a problem, but if it’s not, then one could suffer if they are around this person for too long.

Causes

This then leads to the reasons why one would talk to themselves in this way in the first place. The kind of people one has spent their time with in their adult life can lead to a healthy inner voice and to an unhealthy one. But the primary influences will be how ones caregivers responded to them and to each other when they were younger.

During ones childhood they will have many, many moments of hearing their caregiver’s voices and come to accept their reactions and responses as normal. And if these early moments were filled with love, support and encouragement on most occasions, then one is likely to be fine.

But if one was around caregivers who were critical, judgmental or shaming in most cases or at certain moments, then one could have grown up to speak to themselves in the same way.

Awareness

One of the main things here will be to notice what is going on in one’s mind and to start to observe what is taking place. This is the first stage and from here, change can take place. Fortunately self talk is not fixed and can be changed over time.

One way of doing this is to spend time with people who are supportive or loving and through being around them, one can internalise these new ways. And this could be a friend, coach, therapist or through listening to an audio book.

Another thing that might be necessary is to deal with the emotions and feelings that have been trapped in one’s body. Because even though one’s self talk can be trigger how they feel, it could be the other way around. So as one lets go of the feelings and emotions, the mind will also settle down as a result.

Prolific writer, thought leader and coach, Oliver JR Cooper hails from the United Kingdom. His insightful commentary and analysis covers all aspects of human transformation; love, partnership, self-love, and inner awareness. With several hundred in-depth articles highlighting human psychology and behavior, Oliver offers hope along with his sound advice. Current projects include “A Dialogue With The Heart” and “Communication Made Easy.”

To find out more go to – http://www.oliverjrcooper.co.uk/

Feel free to join the Facebook Group – https://www.facebook.com/OliverJRCooper

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Oliver_J_R_Cooper

 

Image: NJAJ /freedigitalphotos.net

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You Are a Miracle

key_to_my_heart-wallpaper-1366x768Miracles Of Life

You are a miracle,
For as the moon, you are alive
How miraculous it could be?
For this moment, for the night,
For eternal you,
And for the universe.

You are the creation of love.
If you are the flower of love,
How lovely it could be!
For the present and for the past,
For the beloved,
And for this lovely universe.

– Dr. Debasish Mridha

Everyday Miracles

Miracles happen
Every day
To many a folk
In many a way.
They’re not hidden
Beneath a tree,
But manifested
For all to see.

A mother giving
Sacred birth.
A flower shoots up
From the earth.
A wanderer
Who finds his way.
A survivor
Sees another day.

A beggar gets
His next meal.
A patient that’s
Completely healed.
The ocean with
Its shades of blue.
The sky with
A many hue.

Everywhere
And every day,
Miracles happen
In every way.
You don’t have
To travel far—
Just look around
And there they are.

– Walterrean Salley

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Source of the poems: poemhunter.com

Images: worldpaperswide.com

Some Thoughts on Scorpio and Flower Astrology

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some thoughts on scorpio

meaning
exploding into
more
meanings,

as beauty
too
like a single
cell
spreading
into more
beautiful
mass

like islands
of white sands
like sea of
many foams

like bats getting
out of the
cave
on an early
evening

like a confetti
of pink
signaling your
victory

life so many
life
chips

scattering
into more
life forms

like stars
and meteors
and diamonds
upon the
faces of
skies

how beautiful
can scorpions be
when they
begin
to crawl like
one big company

upon a rock
like
you

– Ric S. Bastasa

Additional:

Zodiac Flower Signs and Flower Astrology Meanings /whats-your-sign.com

 

Image: Chrysanthemums BY AUDREY from Central Pennsylvania, USA /Wikimedia commons

Many Probable Realities – You Are Already There by Charles Koh

“We are shifting between realities all the time. With each thought, decision, intention, word and action, we are travelling in this vast system of infinite possibilities. The freedom and choice is limitless. Our “I am” is truly an unlimited Being that can occupy limitless states that it desires to experience.”

Here is the whole text: http://www.mindislife.com/many-probable-realities-you-are-already-there

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Image: arztsamui, freedigitalphotos.net

Tantric Sexuality: Quotes

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Your task is not to seek for love,
but merely to seek and find
all the barriers within yourself
that you have built against it.

– Rumi

Tantra is a pathway, not just to sexual ecstasy but to personal healing and fulfillment.  – Andrew Barnes

It´s time we saw sex as the truly sacred art that it is. A deep meditation, a holy communion and a dance with the force of creation. – Marcus Allen

It is the movement between the negative and positive poles that creates electricity. It is the attraction between the male and the female that creates new life. The dynamics of the universe are dialectical, apparently in a conflict, but occurring within a larger context of unity and wholeness. This is the understanding of the Tantra vision. – Margot Anand

Love, when it is pure, has a revitalizing effect upon others,
and in the presence of a truly loving person others grow and expand
into a healthier state of being.
Without deep reverence for the beloved,
such a refreshing stream cannot flow from the heart of the lover.

– Vatsyana, Kama Sutra

These seven centers, these seven chakras Yoga and Tantra have talked about down the ages, are nothing but five knots in your body electric current. They can be changed; they can be rearranged. They can be given a new shape, form. Two lovers can be transformed so deeply that all their seven centers can start meeting.  – Osho

The feeling of being alive and at One with everything is available through the path of Tantra.  When your heart is open and you are making love, there is no separation between you, your partner and God.  This is healing sex.  This is connecting with the Divine.  And the important thing to develop is the sense that this sacred experience is available in all instants.  It is not limited to sex. – Philip Smith

 

Image: worldpaperswide.com